Post-Lenten apathy, what i imagine the disciples felt, though for a different reason. Ever notice when we leave a conversation or time spent with someone, that time cannot end unless future timetables are discussed? I'll see you next week. I'm not going to make it. OK the week after that? ill call you, ill email you, etc. why is that? reflecting on my fear of goodbye is a less than fun endeavor, but i am forced to of late. many of you know that kit lauer passed away this weekend after a year long battle with leukemia. so here i am, post-Lenten apathy and sackcloth.

we place so much effort into Easter, go to multiple services, sunrises, candles, fasting, worship, celebration... then? normalcy. back into spiritual cruise control. for me, conveniently at the same time i lose a close friend and mentor. when the disciples lost jesus they obviously were discouraged. yet they had hope with his resurrection. Even though they went right back to their old lives, within 3 days actually, they were inspired by his resurrection. Jesus was around for 30 days(give or take), continually teaching and preparing the way, then came then ascension. i cant help but think the disciples were still wondering when they would see him again, even though Christ clearly said he is leaving. our move.

faced with the loss of someone, having to say goodbye is something most of us understand and have endured. I suppose my instinct is to rationalize it; tell myself kit is with jesus, that its better than him being in pain, and that God's timing is perfect. All of these are in fact true, but it negates the fact, im still hurting. When jesus left his disciples, they were broken. Now in no way am i saying kit was jesus to me, but while studying one situation and living another, i cannot help but see the similarities. its time to say goodbye, even if we feel 3 years wasnt enough.

As Christ left he promised the Holy spirit and its presence in the lives of all who choose to follow him and believe that he is the only way to the Father. the disciples were able to find joy among the hurt, hope among the sorrow. so as i was asked this weekend by a quirky bible teacher; "is there hope?" Yes. the Apostle Paul calls the Law our guardian until faith came, until Christ came(gal.3). And if the Lenten season was truth, then He has risen indeed, and we have found faith. See the Law was intended to show people they need the Grace of their father, that the descendants of Abraham could not do life on their own. When Christ ascended to be with his father, he fulfilled that purpose. My brother kit knew this, and lived this. there is hope.

So i mourn with friends, family, and all those who ever had the privilege of meeting Dr. Kit Lauer. I hurt, sure. However, I am driven to live more and more that Christ's resurrection and ascension actually matters. That i might preach his gospel with reckless abandon the same way Kit did until his final breaths. I love you Kit, im going to miss you.

(please forgive punctuation, i never put much stock in it anyways, u can still read it right?)