this is an email i just wrote to a friend not 5 minutes ago. i had an interesting day of thought. and this seems to be the thought diarrhea that came from it. paraphrased.

today when running i was thinking about the age-old question, "what am I doing with my life?" now, of course, our first response is to squelch those thoughts with little pep talks or reminding ourselves with how good life is... ok thats all well and good, if you are afraid to actually think. in my humble opinion, when we are faced with these places, we ought to seek out why we feel these things and not cover them up with the blessings. NOW, i do of course want to mention that in no way do i think we should be doom and gloom all the time; but, i think we think these things for a reason, somethings not lining up with our heart, mind, and how our life is playing out. so im just going to say it.

i have trouble being/seeking righteousness for the sake of itself.

in reading 1 timothy the last few days over and over i realized that i miss the call to the pursuit of righteousness for others sake. For those in your ministry, friends, significant other, job, neighbor, whatever. We all love the idea of being spurred on to do right for others or for the sake of the greater good for our future in those relationships, jobs, etc. SO, i see this, and see; im not being spurred on to righteousness being a carpet cleaner. Sure, if i were a pastor or youth worker of course. even if i were married, yeah you bet, that would do it. DO you know what im getting at here? read 1 timothy. its a great call for a specific mission. but when was the last time you (whoever (or is it whomever?) you are) were driven to righteousness for the sake of being considered righteous by the God of the universe? and not any other reason?

i dont know. maybe others are a lot better at this than me. so i guess thats the beauty of having something like this to spout off on. As for me, i know pretty well that the Lord will give me the opportunities he has for me as i live day by day. And that motivation will be added to me.

that was my day of thinking. so i suppose ill end this as paul ended his letter to timmy.

O Timothy, guard the deposit entrusted to you. Avoid the

irreverent babble and contradictions of what is falsely called
"knowledge," for by professing it some have swerved from the faith.
Grace be with you.